Just Married

A month later, and I'm back on the blog. The wedding planning and festivities have died down and it's time to get in the groove, Jackson (i.e., find a job, move, etc).

But it was great. Fantastic. Perfect.

I see why people say their wedding day was the best day of their life. Not only do you get to formally make a team with your favorite person, but you also get to see most, if not all, your closest family and friends. It really was a wonderful day and we felt very loved by all the people who made it happen. We will never forget all your hard work and patience in throwing this big o' event. We got murried, hurray!

Photos:
Me & Michael in our glam garb
My bridesmaids/man
Michael & my parents
Getaway Smartcar!
Sunday brunch at the Brockhaus house

"The World Is My Parish"

This concerns me. The choice between spiritual formation and mission is not one the Church should have to make. But it makes sense, given our current methods of Christian education and cultural proclivity toward individualism.

I have a friend who's a National Guard chaplain. On days when I hear things like this I feel sort of stirred to action! I doubt I'll be joining the military anytime soon, but I do feel drawn to chaplaincy in university or hospice environments.

“I look upon all the world as my parish; thus far I mean, that, in whatever part of it I am, I judge it meet, right, and my bounden duty to declare unto all that are willing to hear, the glad tidings of salvation. This is the work which I know God has called me to; and sure I am that His blessing attends it. Great encouragement have I, therefore, to be faithful in fulfilling the work He hath given me to do. His servant I am, and, as such, am employed according to the plain direction of His Word, ‘As I have opportunity, doing good unto all [people]’; and His providence clearly concurs with his Word; which has disengaged me from all things else, that I might singly attend on this very thing, ‘and go about doing good.” John Wesley

See also Dennis Bratcher's article, "A World Parish and a Catholic Spirit: Evangelism and Brotherhood".

Lectionary Music

Fun lectionary music site, for those of you who do worship planning. I stumbled across it whilst doing some musical strategizing for the wedding. It's two weeks away now, so that's about all I have time for. :D

In the meantime, won't you join me over at youtube for a viewing of the puppy who can't get up?

Hot Basil

I went to a new Thai restaurant in Overland Park for lunch today as I was craving some phad thai, and it had been calling me for a while. I noticed this little eaterie recently in a strip of stores on the 119th and Metcalf intersection (same side as Mardel, Hobby Hades, etc.), but hadn't had the chance to go in until today. The waitress and I had a great conversation about Christianity and the country of Thailand. She said that all the people in the village where she grew up had become Christians, which is unusual for a country where Buddhism is such a part of the culture. She and her other friends try to go back to their village to help out whenever they can. She talked about how poverty there is an issue for many of the people, who cannot afford computers, or even books to study with. I don't know how she came to be in the U.S. or where the restaurant idea originated, but I can tell you the phad thai was tasty and it came with a free crab rangoon! Delicious. So go to Hot Basil and try some Thai! Tell them the underdressed, unemployed brunette sent you.

Keep Those Doggies Movin'

I like to save up all my moves for years and then move three times in six months. It's so much more exciting that way.

Seriously, why do I do this to myself? Last weekend I moved into Michael's parents' basement in O.P. It's nice--a finished room and living room area. Last occupants: chinchillas. Closer to fun things that I love, such as Michael and Comanche, Christ Church, Homer's, and Mi Ranchito. A little further from the city than I'd like to be, but I will find excuses to visit--friends, restaurants, NTS events/theological library, Loose Park, etc.! The good news is--hurray--I'm getting married in two months! Then I will have a boy roommate, which will be an adventure. He will be roommate #20 (the others were girls, btw), so I think I'm broken in pretty good. More good news--he's tidy, good lookin', has a dog, generally shares my taste in music (which is a feat), and is a redhead. Naturally, when we get married, I will move in with him.

One bedroom apartment + German shepherd + Wendie/Michael + Wendie's books = cozy nest of love!

The lease is up on the apartment in December, so we get to move again! Craziness. Fun crazy, though. In the meantime, wedding plans are coming along nicely and I get the chance to go through all the stuff I've been collecting in boxes and clean some of it out: high school paraphernelia, inherited furniture and appliances, college mementos, teaching resources, church music and theology books, and seminary papers. It's amazing how much stuff can accumulate when you're not keeping on top of it! I've already gotten rid of a couple of truckloads full of stuff, but I need to do about three or four more. Craigslist, here I come.

Life Attack!

Have you ever had times when you feel like your life is attacking you, everything all at once? I kind of feel that way this week--wedding planning, moving out on Friday (to Michael's parents' house), looking for a job... These are good things, and I feel that God has prepared me for each of them, but it still feels crazy. But I guess when the timing's right, the crazy isn't all that bad. And let's be honest, where Wendie is, there is always a little bit of crazy.

Good Eats from the Weekend

Baked Chicken Breasts with Spinach, Pears, & Blue Cheese
from Whole Foods recipes (except I used apples and gorgonzola)

Ambrosia White Plum iced tea from Zhena's Gypsy Tea

Frozen Honey-Vanilla Mousse with Blackberry Sauce from The Cuisine of California cookbook, purchased on a lovely vacation with my parents on the coast of California in 2005.

I really enjoy cooking. I do have this bad habit of always trying new dishes when company comes over, though. Nine times out of ten my experiments are successful, but my mousse last night was not-so-moussey. More like a pudding, really.

By the way, if any of you happen to stop by at Outback Steakhouse, I highly recommend the Roasted Filet Focaccia Sandwich with "slow-roasted sliced filet, melted provolone cheese and garlic herb aioli on toasted bread. Served with a side of au jus for dipping." And SWEET POTATO FRIES. You must eat the fries, for they are tasty, tasty taters. Michael's parents took us out to eat after church today and we all ordered the sweet potato fries on the side. I have to put a good word in for the place (95th & Quivira), because they comped our entire meal after we waited so long for the food.

Wedding Wells

The new wedding site is up and running. We will try to keep this updated with new info as we go through the process of being engaged to being married--Saturday, October 3, 2009! Hurray!

Here is the address for the wedding blog:

WEDDING WELLS
http://mwmarriage.blogspot.com/

Losing & Gaining

There's something a little disheartening about losing one's money, job, and one's home, eh? Let me explain (it's not quite as dire as it sounds).

Money is scarce right now--I'm sure many of you can relate. For a while, while I was in seminary, I had stipends coming in twice a semester for my involvement as assistant chaplain and in student government. Since I graduated, these no longer exist, and for some reason the loan people want me to start giving them money. Who knew?

Also, by mid-August my job at the seminary library will also be nonexistent since I am not a student there anymore. I am looking at a lot of different job opportunities, but no dice yet. Discerning friends and family remind me that God has something up his divine sleeve for me to do (why else would I have had to struggle through seminary?), but it's hard to search and wait in the meantime. Again, I'm sure many of you can relate! It is unlikely that I will find a ministry position which will support me on its own, so most likely I will be bi-vocational, which is fine. I like variety. But at this point I am looking for just about anything, so please don't harass me too much if I take something which appears to be non-ministry-related ("ministry" is difficult to define anyway, I have decided). Many of my interests include things which are rarely lucrative, like music and writing, so I will be doing those on the side. I am doing those on the side, come to think of it--I've been asked to contribute two chapters to a book that The House Studio (a newer division of Nazarene Publishing House) is working on. The proceeds from this little endeavor will be about enough to buy me gas for a week or two. Hurray!

Finally, I will be moving out of my happy little duplex on Walrond in two weeks. My roommate's brother is moving to town to begin classes at NTS in August, so I'm moving out a little early. It made sense. Michael's parents have offered to let me inhabit their finished basement, which is great. It will save me some money and put me much closer to the good-looking redhead I am to marry. But it will be a little sad to leave the city and the community I've known there for the past 3.5 years. Not to mention the Roasterie!

So, let's take stock. I apparently have enough money to pay for food and shelter, even if all the bills don't get paid. I have a job for a few more weeks, and then I will find another one eventually. I have a place to sleep, and my next roommate (#20) will be a boy! An awesome ginger boy--and I get to adopt his dog! This is exciting. In addition, I have many people in my life who are supportive, even when my life seems insane.

Transition--however drastic it seems--when put into perspective, is really not that bad at all.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive

I am still alive. Kind of. The wedding plans are going swimmingly, but my bills are eating me alive. I just found a "surprise, you were supposed to start repaying your loans in May" bill, which is disheartening. I really need to find a full-time job.

The good news is, I have good friends, good family. And good God.


p.s. Be on the lookout for a wedding blog launch in the next week...

Love Is in the Air, Everywhere I Look around

I'm engaged! To Michael Brockhaus! More details to come--it's been a bit of a whirlwind. A nice whirlwind though, with sparkles.

Last Day of Acquisitions

This is my last day of being the Acquisitions person at the library. It's kind of sad; I have enjoyed working in the back office and being the book shepherd and invoice manager! It was fun to set my own schedule and be self-directed in my work for a while, along with being a nice, calm way to end my last year at seminary. Fortunately I still have a job! I will be working at the front desk in the library again as of next week. And for this I am thankful.

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everybody. Peace.

Potential KC Adventures

I like to go on adventures when I'm out and about. Sometimes it's as small as taking a different route on the drive home/to the store/to the coffee, and sometimes it's as big as, well, wandering in Israel. Loved ones humor my flightiness and sometimes even participate! For instance, Michael took me to a Cake concert the week before finals at the Crossroads KC at Grinders--new venue and new concert experience FTW! It was fantastic. We were three people back from the stage!

I was doing some online wandering today and came across some Kansas City adventures that looked like fun. I have to credit the Pitch for most of these, along with other people who do an annual "Best of" list.

Wyandotte County Lake Park for rambunctious jogging
Cliff Drive for scenic walking/jogging/cycling (car-free on weekends)
Black Coffee in downtown KC for "Between the Sheets" drink
Super Flea for thrift store rummaging
Indigo Wild for sweet-smelling body/home care products (and puppies!)
Velvet Creme Popcorn for creatively-flavored treats
Paradise India for delicious foods
Skillet Licker Cafe for "Hot Lil' Doughnuts" and diabetic coma
39th Street Community Farmer's Market for local goods

I think I'll check the last one out tonight. Let me know if any of you go to one of these places, or have been there before!

Nap & Gown: Or, How I Graduated from Seminary

Well, it's done. I officially have a Masters of Divinity!

Graduation was on Mother's Day, about a week ago, and I am just now coming out of the post-school-year fog. Finals week was pretty overwhelming, and I had to do an all-nighter on Wednesday to get everything turned in on time, but I was able to finish well and enjoy the weekend's festivities.

On Friday we had graduation practice (Dr. Hahn told us how to hold our hoods) and an alumni lunch, which was fun. They gave us a stack of free books and a nice little sandwich to eat while we were encouraged not to forget the institution where we earned our degrees (as if we could). Then they led us through an alumni induction liturgy, which included singing (of course) and walking through the hallway where they keep all the former NTS class pictures. It was pretty meaningful, and I had a chance to catch up with Heather Bryant (former roommate, now at EUNC in Germany) and Dana Preusch (a former pastor).

Saturday morning my parents came up to go to the graduate chapel service at NTS. I led the congregational singing (always a barrel of monkeys) with Dr. Noble at the organ. He was one of three professors who came on the Israel trip--Dr. Hahn and Dr. Benefiel were the other two. My first year here I had Dr. Noble in Systematic Theology I, during which I sat in the front row with my theological dictionary, frantically writing down as much of his lectures as I possibly could. I enjoyed the class so much that I took three more in subsequent semesters. I also really enjoyed the two classes I had with Dr. Hahn, and hope someday to sit in one of Dr. Benefiel's courses. But I digress. One of the neat things they planned for the chapel service was sort of a "testimony time" where graduates could come up to the mike and say thank you to people who had enabled their seminary survival. My main thank-yous went to my parents, Michael, Drs. Keith and Judi Schwanz, Dr. Hardy, and some close spiritual friends. The only thing we didn't do that I wish we had was have the profs come and do a "laying on of hands" with the graduates. The various gatherings during the graduation weekend were a nice rite of passage, but the sending element was missing. Maybe it's because I just did a big study of the book of Acts, but I feel this is important. I also feel strongly about lunch, which we ate at Avenues after the service. Mmm.

Saturday night was the big banquet in downtown KC. It was held at a nice, old venue, and the food was good. But my favorite part was the speaker, Dr. Spaulding. Picture a tall southern man with an accent and a humorous philosophical bent towards life. I had two classes with him and loved every minute of them. We (parents and manfriend) had great company at our table, and I enjoyed chattering on with Mike Coblentz and Darin and Autumn Scholl, some relatively recent friends that Michael and I have been getting to know better.


Sunday was pretty surreal. In the morning we visited KC First Church of the Nazarene for their "graduation service", where my very smart friend Josh Johnson (also a graduate) preached the sermon. It was great. If I'm still around this fall I may take the Hebrew course he's teaching. After the service we enjoyed some Japanese food and then went home for a quick nap and gown-ironing. Then it was off to First Church again for Commencement! They herded all the grads into a side room for about 45 minutes before the service. Apparently there was some concern about graduate students' ability to get in a proper line. I wandered around and enjoyed chatting with other graduates and friends from the Israel trip, and managed to catch Aimee as she came in the back door! She helped me get my hat fixed (why do they have to be so awkward?). Then it was time to go in...weird feeling. It's so formal to walk in long lines of people dressed exactly--and strangely--like you. My gown made me feel fluffy and I was afraid I would carry my hood in the wrong spot and they would end up putting it on me backwards or upside down or something. I don't remember too much of the ceremony itself, except for walking across the stage to shake hands with Dr. Benefiel, accepting my diploma, and being hooded by Dr. Hahn. The speaker was ok, but I was mostly just glad to be around friends and family when it was over. Mine and Michael's parents came, and Michael of course, along with Sherry, Gabe, Mary Ann, and Roger, Genie, Karla, and Aimee--there may have been more but that's who I saw while I was there! It's kind of a blur.


Sunday afternoon after the ceremony we went over to Michael's parents house in Overland Park for a party, which was awesome. It was so nice of everybody to come over--the aforementioned folks who came to graduation, along with Jonathan, Johanna, Jennifer, the Scholls, the Petersons (who came twice because they're nice!), Luke, the Fisks, Jeremy, and Gigi. It was a fun time with lots of tasty foods. Mine and Michael's parents worked hard to make it nice, and it was. I collapsed when it was all over. At least I think it's over. I may go into doctoral studies someday, but for now I am quite content to be graduated with my masters.

Thanks be to God.

I Want to Visit the Blue One

One of "Hubble's Greatest Hits".

Giving Birth

Graduating from seminary is like spiritual childbirth. I'm not going to register for anything or have showers thrown for me (nor do I want to!), but there are other similarities. I think Aimee taught me this when she told me she wanted to come to my graduation. I was surprised that anyone would want to, besides Michael and my parents, but it is logical in the sense that it has been a very important journey in my life the past four years. Thanks Aimee!

My classes this semester have been great, and surprisingly pertinent. My Isaiah module (2-week class at the beginning of the semester) helped prepare me for the Israel trip. My New Testament Evangelism course was a nice bookend to my degree and reminded me of the vibrancy of the early Church as the good news began to spread. It was also nice to reflect on Jesus' journey in the Gospels, which also helped prepare me for the Israel trip! And my Ministry of Spiritual Direction class also helped me see how a minister may act as a "spiritual midwife", assisting others in discerning how God is at work in their lives. This reminded me of the phrase, "May Christ be born in you," which is used in the Christmas season. I'm not sure where I'll be next week/month/year, but I feel very content and fulfilled about finishing seminary, and finishing well. The good news is that I know where I will be in the next 10 minutes. My mom and I are going hunting/gathering for a graduation dress. I have a few thrift-type stores I want to hit up. :)

I took this picture my first semester because I was so excited about the books and the learning. Still am, for some reason...what a geek.

Galilee Reflection

...And Him evermore I behold
Walking in Galilee,
Through the cornfield's waving gold,
In hamlet, in wood, and in wold,
By the shores of the Beautiful Sea.
He toucheth the sightless eyes;
Before Him the demons flee;
To the dead He sayeth: Arise!
To the living: Follow me!
And that voice still soundeth on
From the centuries that are gone,
To the centuries that shall be!
From all vain pomps and shows,
From the pride that overflows,
And the false conceits of men;
From all the narrow rules
And subtleties of Schools,
And the craft of tongue and pen;
Bewildered in its search,
Bewildered with the cry,
Lo, here! lo, there, the Church!
Poor, sad Humanity
Through all the dust and heat
Turns back with bleeding feet,
By the weary road it came,
Unto the simple thought
By the great Master taught,
And that remaineth still:
Not he that repeateth the name,
But he that doeth the will!

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Japan Church

You might as well know...

I had a phone interview with the pastor of a Nazarene church in Okinawa, Japan last night, and it went well. They are looking for someone to do music ministry and also some other pastoral ministry with adults on the side. I have a second interview on Saturday morning, via video conference, and would appreciate your prayers as we work through this process of discernment together.

As it turns out, I'm graduating!

Pic of the Day

Monday seems like a good day to break out the donkey photos...this is me on a Petra donkey, Indiana Jones style.

NTS Graduation: My Tale of Adventure

Last week I saw something in Target that stopped me in my tracks. Was it a retail leprechaun? Not this time.

It was the "Class of 2009" paraphernalia, and it applied to me.

However, I am at a loss for what to do for graduation this time. Do I purchase little cupcake sticks from Oriental Trading? Do I have a big party for family and friends? I know that my final four weeks are going to be a grueling race to the finish line, and then a sudden stop and collapse to the ground.

But then...breathing. And fun! I have a pleasure reading list of about 150 books I haven't had time to read but would like to. I am also really looking forward to the release that comes from knowing one has accomplished something substantial, like 90 hours of graduate school. FTW!

Occasionally I've taken flak for not being married and mass producing children, but I have been happy and at peace with my choices, and have listened to the voice of God whenever important decisions needed to be made. Most of you haven't heard me speak about this in detail, just a few very close--and patient--friends. So let me take a moment to do that now.

---------------------------------

Seminary has been hard. Very, very hard. The 90-hour MDiv program differs from other graduate programs in that it demands mental, emotional, psychological, AND spiritual accountability, almost all the time. It is exhausting, and lonely, and grueling, and impossible to relate to unless you've been there--thus the loneliness (am I right, Jeanne/Diane/Libby?). I'm really not trying to be dramatic about it, just honest. Were it not for some amazing and authentic friends I have made there, I would not have survived past the second year (you know who you are, I hope!). These people have consistently loved me, even in my darker moments, and genuinely shown interest in my life even when theirs were full too. They have served me, surprised me, laughed with me, challenged me, and sat in silence with me. It's the closest I've been to relating to the camerarderie of Jesus' disciples. They went through some heavy stuff, but there was always this hope which carried through.

But even more than this, I appreciate the perseverance and support of my parents, Loren and Steph, and my manfriend, Michael Brockhaus. I wouldn't have been at seminary at all without them, and it has been the most fulfilling and God-breathed experience of my life. Many times I haven't had much to give, yet they continued to love and serve me with tenacity. Thank you.

For all its struggles, seminary has also been a kind of miracle. I was never one of those people who always knew what they wanted to do when they grew up. I tried some things, like teaching elementary school music in my early 20s, but nothing seemed to "fit". I resigned said teaching job, even though it offered me financial stability, because I knew God had something better. And then Jeanne Damon invited me to audit a night class with her at seminary. I remember how uncertain I was when I walked into the building, not knowing that I would soon be living there for four years! But when I began to attend the class--Liberation Theology, of all things--it dawned on me that I belonged there, that seminary was my next step, even if I didn't know exactly what direction it would take me in. Most people say they had a call to ministry and then they decided to go to seminary, but it was different for me.

At first I felt called to seminary, but uncertain about ministry as a profession. It may sound strange, but initially it was my job to minister to people at NTS. I did my best to get to know the stories and needs of as many students, staff, and faculty members as I could. I encouraged the ones who were struggling, held accountable those who required it, and welcomed as many people as I could. After the first year the chaplain asked me to be his assistant, and that experience was the first at NTS which really began to shape my pastoral identity. I got to help plan and lead many different kinds of services (with prayer, music, Scripture readings, liturgy, sacraments, etc.), put my creativity into use, connect with pastors all over the world, and use my organizational skills to make our ministry more effective and efficient. Along with that, my classes and ministry experiences also began to shape me. I was able to learn and appreciate on a deep level the importance of a knowledge about the Bible, church history, cultural studies, spiritual formation, and theology. Students and professors assisted me in defining the gifts God had given me and how to best put them into use. Along with that, I also gained a better understanding of my faults and weaknesses--and an amazement that God would love me regardless of these things. It was simultaneously the most humbling and empowering thing that had ever happened to me. Such a great responsibility.

About halfway through my degree program, I experienced some serious burnout and questioned whether I was in the right place or not, yet God's Spirit was a comfort to me even then, reminding me that God would be with me always, "even to the end of the age". From time to time it was as though God was sending me people with the exact message of hope I needed to hear for that day, a kind of "encouragement manna" just to get by. I struggled to learn how to prioritize my life and relationships, and engaged in spiritual disciplines which taught me those things I should say "no" to, so that I could say a hearty "YES" to others! I fought to let my yes be yes, and to speak the truth in love whenever it was necessary (though love may not always sound "nice"!). By this time I was being affirmed in ministry both by seminary colleagues and by my local church, and began the process of getting my District Minister's License in the Church of the Nazarene. I also became active in student government and was able to act as an advocate for students in a way I had not been able to before. At times I even did my homework!

It wasn't until my last year here that I was able to entirely comprehend myself as a pastor who was female, which I credit to the diligence of other pastors and biblical scholars who argued my case for me! Unfortunately, in many churches women are still treated as second class Christians, whose ideas are too "emotional" to be relevant and whose ministry is limited by the scope of human--often male, though sometimes female--minds. This is not the message of the New Testament as a whole, neither can it be argued from the life and ministry of Jesus himself. I do not believe that God created one sex to rule over the other, in the home, the church, or the world. And finally, finally I believe this message to be true for myself. Thanks be to God. And thanks to those who believed in me.

My entire seminary experience, with all its ups and downs, has been a life-giving and beautiful time in my life. If I died tomorrow I would not regret my choices. On this last trek through my graduate school journey, I celebrate the lessons, gifts, and challenges God has lovingly given me. This next year will bring major transitions, and I welcome them. I am excited about changes on the horizon and the ministry opportunities (paid or otherwise) which will become available to me now. May 10th will be more than just a graduation--or commencement, as many have come to call it: it is a spiritual milestone and an altar to my God.

---------------------------------

I don't really expect anyone to be excited to come to this besides my parents and Michael, but if you're reading this, and you're interested, here are the details of our various NTS Commencement Exercises (sounds tiring). I have translated them into Wendie-ese for your convenience and noted the times when you are able to join in the festivities.

Friday, May 8
10:00 am - Woman, come get your robe!
11:00 am - Grad students [apparently] need practice walking in lines
12:00 pm - Free grad lunch, free alumni spiel

Saturday, May 9
10:00 am - Grad chapel w/Jesus awards! (free, open to public at NTS)
5:30 pm - NTS fancy dinner in downtown KC ($20/ticket)

Sunday, May 10
10:45 am - My friend Josh preaches his winning sermon at KC First Church of the Naz. (also free, open to public)
3:00 pm - Woman, come get in line!
4:00 pm - I get my pomp and circumstance on at the NTS COMMENCEMENT, also at KC First Church (even more free and open to the public!)


And no, I don't have a job yet or know what I'm doing. :) The good news is that I will be able to work at the library until August if necessary. That is, if I don't decide to move to Japan or something.